Last week a secret meeting of the world’s nine economic super powers met in San Francisco. The meetings discussed the current policies of each nation and their plans for the future in the wake of the Global Turn-Off. (In California that means Recession, “the Big R word,” Got it, Dude? Wow!!!)
As one of the planned closing events of the meeting, the nine leaders met at North Beach. The event: The Economic Leaders Swim to Alcatraz. It was a nice sunny day for San Francisco, about 65 degrees. Mark Twain said, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” In San Francisco, 65 degrees is considered a heat wave. What could they possibly know about Global Warming?
As each Economic Leader lined up near the sandy beach they were handed a wet suit and swimming fins. They immediately prepared for the difficult swim in 49 degree water. President Obama, the tallest and most youthful, lined up last. He was his usual 20 minutes late. He probably stopped for a cheese burger and fries with Michele out of sight of the media.
He was handed a blind fold to hold while ankle weights were attached to his legs. His hands were tied behind his back. Looking at the others, he asked, “How can I get my wet suit on like this?”
The reply was, “You won’t be getting a wet suit.” He said, “Hey, that water is 49 degrees I could freeze in that water if I don’t drown first.” “Yes, we know,” said the organizer of the event.
Obama looked around and noticed all the Economic leaders had not only wet suits but swimming fins. Obama yelled, “Hey, that’s not fair I can’t compete like this. I have weights on my legs, no wet suit, my hands are tied behind my back, and they are using flippers.”
“Mr. President, you are exactly right. The other nations competing against you are swimming in the same treacherous, cold waters as you. They are neither shackled nor blinded with the restraints that we have offered you.
The rubber in their wet suits represents their maximizing the use of their natural resources. They do not have the weights of heavy handed government regulation. They are not handcuffed with Transportation, Energy, EPA, and Department of Homeland Security policies like America. They have flippers to aid them through the currents of the dangerous waters that await you. Your blindfold represents how you have developed your economic policies ignoring what history has taught you.”
President Obama shouted out, “This isn’t fair. I have no chance of winning this way. I may even die.”
A reply came from someone wearing a zebra colored referee outfit. “Now you know how the American people feel.” And he yelled, “On your Mark – Get Set – GOOOOOO.”