The Unemployment Figures May Be Better than We Thought
Based on the latest Jobs Report released after
the 4th of July Weekend, jobs were up by 18,000 jobs last week. Obama reported that while unemploy-ment was up a tad bit, he saw some sunny spots on the horizon. After further analysis by CNBC, it was discovered that the increase in jobs was not a temporary blip on the job scene.
The single largest category to see full employment was Life Guards at our nation’s beaches. When the Presidents Press Secretary, Jay Carney was challenged by the discovery, Carney said, “Look at the bright side of this, Labor Day Weekend is only two months away, the third largest weekend for life guards.”
Carney was quick to add, “Then we will have the Temporary Santa Jobs Program that was a big success last year. In fact, the Santa Jobs Training Project, called “Project Ho, Ho, Ho” will begin right after the Labor Day weekend this year. We will be expanding the program to 17 languages. The ACLU has demanded that we have Santas who are fluent in both Hebrew and Yiddish this year.”
Here is something that confuses me. We give people money to be unemployed and tell them to look for a job but, many on the Left believe that asking people to look for work, especially when the Casey Anthony Trial was on TV, was cruel and unusual punishment.
The heartless Republicans believe if all benefits were ended then those on unemployment would have to look for work. The Left fears that many of the
unemployed will seek jobs currently held by illegals, the fasting growing voting block in America. The President’s campaign strategy is based on the theory that “working illegals” will vote for him, while “working Americans” will not. This theory is brilliant for the Democrats. It is a Win, Win, Win, Lose Proposition. Illegals get jobs, Americans get Unemployment Checks, and Obama gets votes, but we, the American People, lose because we pay for all of it. What a country!
In a related story: Using the latest economic indicator, it was reported that many people are taking Spanish as a second language in order to apply for “Green Jobs,” lawn mowing and gardening jobs. Many former corporate executives have been seen at the beach without sunscreen in order to look more ethnic. Tanning Salons are doing a booming business in non-beach towns. Wal-Mart reports that sales of straw hats is on the rebound indicating that the economy is improving.